The sky is grey the tears are flowing. Will I ever feel like myself again? Will I ever be happy again? Will I ever hold another baby in my arms?
It has been 5 months since we saw you for the first and last time. The pain is just as hard to deal with as it was that first day. Just when I feel like the sun is starting to peak out the clouds swallow it up again. Everything is a struggle, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night. I want to be happy for new parents but I just am not. I don't want to talk to people. I think mainly because I have nothing to say that doesn't involve grief. But I don't want people to think "Oh here she goes again talking about how sad she is". I feel like I annoy people when I talk about my grief and talk about you. But you are my daughter and I am a mom. Mom's are suppose to brag about their kids. I just wish I could go back to the numb feeling I had before. Before it was just constant pain. With each passing day the hole in my heart grow bigger, I miss you more. I wonder what you would be like today. Your brother started sitting up at about this age, and we were starting to introduce foods. Your hair would probably be long enough for a pony tail, maybe even pigtails. Sydney I miss you my little Angel. Your brother miss you too. Aidyn likes to look at your pictures, that makes me happy. I will never let them forget you, and I cam't wait for the day that we are ALL together again.
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