We are still waiting to get the pictures of Sydney back from our NILMDTS photographer. I hope we get them before Christmas. I am starting to get sad that there is nothing in the house to remember her. In our room there is but I want to get something in the living room. Sometimes I feel like we are trying to force ourselves into not remembering. I never want to forget, and I don't think I ever will.
I am missing her so much lately. We got some news last night that we are not happy about. It makes this whole journey harder and so much more unfair. Even with my sleeping pills I find it hard to sleep at night. I try to fall asleep and I think about that dark day when we went to the hospital and found out our baby was dead. Which then leads to a very long and exhausting day. I am terrified to go back to work. I don't know how I will make it through a shift with out breaking down.
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