Sydney's pictures

We got the pictures back from the photographer. When I saw them in the mail I immediately got excited. After I opened them and put the disk in the computer, I started to get nervous. To me it was like all this time I tried to remember that day and I do remember the day but only the pain that I felt. So waiting to see the pictures scared me, it was like waiting for my daughter back. I was thinking "how did the photographer capture the moment?" "Did she get the good of that day? Because I can't remember that" "How much of Sydney did she capture?" So many thoughts and questions going through my head in the minute or so it took to load up the disc. My heart was racing, my stomach was turning, my hand were sweaty and shaky. Finally they loaded and I saw my baby not for the first time since we lost her but it felt like it. Immediately I remembered how truly beautiful and perfect she was. I thought I would only see the sadness, but she captured so much more than that.

She captured the love

the sadness

the support we had

 She even captured a little happiness with a picture of Dave smirking at Syd. 

Looking at that picture makes my heart so warm and happy. Dave is my life I don't know how I would make it through all this without him. He is the best dad/husband the boys and I could ask for. 

Seeing these pictures gives me so much peace and happiness. I know how much Sydney was loved, how much she is missed. And one day I will be honored to see her again. I hope tears of happiness are allowed in heaven because I will lots of those. 

Here is a video I put together for her.