It has been one week since we went to the hospital hoping and praying for good news. It feels like it has been months, most the time it still feels like a dream. The whole pregnancy feels like it was a dream. It had to be a dream right to go through those nine long months and then have nothing to physically show for it.
Sometimes I wonder if it would have happened no matter what. I think If I would have been induced earlier or gone into labor would she still be here or was it really just her time. I doesn't seem fair to make something so perfect and not let us enjoy it.
I have gone in her room a few times since she left us, and as much as it kills me to see the room all set up for Sydney I have hope for the future that one day it will be filled.
While the pain is still there all the time I have noticed that my appetite is sloooowly coming back and it is a little easier to sleep(still with the help of meds). The tears do not come all the time, most the time I want to cry but just can't get them out. Then when I do start crying it is hard to stop.
Thinking about you and sweet, sweet Sydney often Debi.
ReplyDeleteNo one should experience what you and your family has gone though...and continue to go though. My heart aches for you.
Angi