Minute by Minute Hour by hour

That is all I can do, take things as they come. My emotions change so often. One minute I will be happy and laughing because one of the boys did something funny. Then I think "would Sydney do that?" I have her picture on my phone and every time I turn it on I smile, sometimes with a tear in my eye but mostly with the overwhelming urge to cuddle and kiss her.
My physical pain has been minimal which is good. But this morning I have been feeling my milk come in. I have a pill to help dry me up but I can't get it till tomorrow. I need to get past this breastfeeding is such a big part for me with bonding with my baby and I unfortunately this is such a painful reminder that I will never get to do this with her. I try to sleep but toss and turn all night with periods of sleep. I get hunger pains but then when it comes to getting food in my mouth I feel nauseous.

I just need to take a minute and thank everyone. My family and friends have been so amazing these last few days.

I just want to add a photo for those that want to see how beautiful my sleeping angel is. I know that pictures can be hard for some but she is my daughter and I still want to show her off because I made her and I love her.